Discussion Questions  |  9 August 2020

SERMON SUMMARY

New Series – It’s Not You. It’s Me.

We have all been cooped up for what seems like forever. What has all this social distancing done for your relationships? Has it made things a little tense? Maybe things have never been better? No matter your current status, it’s become clearer to all of us that relationships are important and God calls us not just to healthy relationships, but to be holy in our relationships. Through this series, we will look at how our faith shapes who we are, how communicate, resolve conflict, forgive and set boundaries in our relationships.

DISCUSSION

Communication is the foundation of any relationship, but have you ever stopped to think about how powerful words can be? In the beginning of creation, God spoke the earth into being and Proverbs 18:21 tells us that ‘the tongue has the power of life and death’. We might not be able to control what comes out of other people’s mouths, but we can be responsible and in control of how we choose to communicate. As we relate to others, we have a choice to:

1. Build Up or Tear Down: Whatever is in your heart determines what you say, and when we speak out of our insecurity or brokenness, our harsh words can negatively impact or damage our relationships. (Eph 4:29, Matt 12:33-37, Prov 12:18)

2. Hear or Listen: A listener considers not just their own desires and agendas, but truly seeks to understand. It is in this place of empathy and understanding that we can speak truth in love. (James 1:19, Prov 18:2, 18:13, 15:1)

3. Be Healthy or Holy: God is always trying to speak to us and through us. When we allow God to disciple us and speak through us, our lives and words can become ‘holy’ to be used for God’s witness and purposes in our relationships. (Heb 4:12-13, Col 4)

Discuss one or more of the following questions:

1. Listening to this week’s sermon, what spoke to you and why?

2. Proverbs 18:21 tells us that ‘the tongue has the power of life and death’, and as you think about different areas and seasons in your life, how have other people’s words impacted you both positively or negatively?

3. Read Ephesians 4:29. When you think about the way you use your words to talk to or about the people in your life (or even strangers), how often do you build them up, and how often do you tear them down? Is there anything that needs to change?

4. Read Proverbs 18:2 and 18:13. A good listener isn’t just thinking about their own desires and agendas, but are truly seeking to understand. Is there someone in your life who is a good listener? What are specific things they do which let you know that they’re listening?

5. Do you think you are a good listener? What are some things that you can do or attitudes you can change that will help you become a better listener?

6. What do you think it means to ‘speak truth in love’ (Eph 4:15) and how do you balance truth with love?

7. In your personal life, are there intentional spaces that allow for good communication with your family and friends? When do you have the best head space for meaningful or important conversations?

8. God is always trying to speak to us and through us. When you think about your relationship with God, how does he speak to you most often? What is something you can do to create more space to hear from God?

9. Read Colossians 4:2-6. What do you think it means to let our conversations always be full of grace, and ‘seasoned with salt’?

10. What is something you feel like God is asking you to put into action after this week’s sermon and discussion?